Family Therapy.
Are you worried about your teen? Do they seem to struggle more than their peers, even though you know they have it in them to succeed? Having guided many teens through these strange & difficult times, I can help your teen with anxiety, depression, disrespect, low self-confidence, anger management, and disruptive behaviors to help them reach their full potential and relieve some of the tension at home. Parenting is the most humbling journey with the steepest of learning curves but you are not alone. I've helped many teens & families grow, transform, & thrive.The Terrible Two’s, Part Two
You think you have things down then boom—adolescence hits. No one gives you a “How To” guide on what to do when your teen starts being disrespectful. Or demands more independence even though you don’t think they’re ready. Or their grades start dropping. You lay awake at night, wondering if you said the right thing. Did I overreact? Did I underreact? Am I pushing them away? Am I coddling too much? The only frame of reference you have is how you were brought up or well-meaning friends & families who think they know what to do. “Send them to my house for the weekend, I’ll straighten them out!” “Why don’t you just x,y,z?” Though well-meaning, these comments can make you feel even more isolated and question your competency as a parent.
The Truth Of The Matter Is...
1
Adolescence is a difficult time. The brain is going through structural changes. Hormones are raging through their bodies. Their desire for friendship and belonging is at an all time high.
2
There is more disrespect than ever. What would your parents have done if you disrespected them, called them names, or broke rules? Most people would say something along the lines of, “I wouldn’t be here today! They would’ve killed me.”
3
The world today is vastly different from the time you grew up. Fast track to sexuality, easy access to drugs and vaping, cyber bullying, constant stimulation through devices and video games, and instant gratification, just to name a few.
4
Every child is different. They are born with their own temperament—maybe one that is very similar to your own which can lead to butting heads or fear that they will make the same mistakes you made. Or a temperament so different from your own that you sometimes look at them and simply wonder, “what are they thinking?!”
How Can I Help?
I have worked with many teens and their families. I have worked with shy teens, angry teens, resistant teens, hyper teens, you name it. I have taught psychoeducational classes to teens and their parents where we discussed button pushing behavior, family contracts, communication sills, and self-soothing skills. I have helped out of control teens harness their talents and become volunteers for my classes. I have helped teens shed off years of conflict that created rough outer edges to expose the sweet and loving child that you’ve been missing.
I understand that every teen has different needs, personalities, pace, and openness to therapy. I will meet your teen where they are—physically and emotionally—whether that be online, in the privacy and comfort of home, at a park, on the basketball courts, etc. Some teens do better in quiet environments, some do better with their favorite music playing in the background, some do better if they color as they talk, play with a fidget toy, etc. I’ve had clients who went from giving me the silent treatment to eventually being the chattiest of Cathy’s! My goal is to tailor their environment to set them up for comfort and success.
Individual sessions.
Sometimes it can be helpful for your teen to have a trusted adult to talk to. At their developmental stage, it’s very normal for your teen to want privacy from you. I know this is hard, and perhaps vastly different from the sweet child that looked up to you and trusted you with their every thought. This is what I tell every parent: “It’s not personal, It’s adolescence. I could say the very same thing you’ve been trying to tell them but just because it’s coming from an adult other than you, they listen more!”
Common things that teens process in individual therapy are divorce, changing family dynamics, grief & loss, anger management, anxiety, depression, communication skills, how to regulate emotions. There are skills that are helpful not only in the home and at school, but also in future jobs and relationships.
I can make sure I am monitoring and guiding your teen as they process things that they may not be ready to come to you about as they navigate seasons of change, questions about what’s next, and embrace who they’re becoming.
Parent Sessions.
“Parenting can expose us to our own deep, dark self—the pretty and not so pretty— some of which we were probably hoping to keep out of sight! These moments of awareness are painful and can get in the way of our desire and commitment to be calm and speak kindly and reasonably to our kids. Of course, our explosion leaves us feeling more guilty and hopeless as parents—and the cycle continues.”
In addition to adolescent and family therapy, I also offer individual sessions with parents. This is because every parent on the history of this planet has had moments where they completely lost it or reacted in ways they regret.
The truth is that we all carry our own burdens. I can help you become more aware of them, how it impacts your relationship with your child, and explore new and alternative ways of connecting.
Family Sessions.
Family Therapy is helpful for various things. Does the mood of your teen affect the entire home? Does it feel like you have to walk on eggshells? Does your teen often break rules or are you not sure how to consistently implement appropriate rules, consequences and rewards? Do you wish you could understand your teen better so you can understand how to help them?
Oftentimes, families are stuck in a pattern—a negative cycle that keeps feeding into itself. And no matter how hard you try, it can be extremely difficult for only one person in the family to change that cycle—it takes the effort of everyone involved. I can help your family break the negative cycle, challenge each person to find new and alternative ways of being and interacting, and ultimately help ease some of the tension in the home.
My job in family therapy will be to address behavioral issues but also emotional blockage. I will be your teen’s translator. I will meet with them individually a few times, understand their perspective better, and facilitate a guided conversation between you and your teen.